Catch a rabbit by the ears...
This is more of a reminisce than a blog. But given the audience - what the hell!! I remember this one time that all the villains of Gajapathi house got together and decided that a rabbit stew was the flavour of the season and we ought to try it out. The aforementioned villains - yours truly among others - decided that flicking a rabbit or two from the school wildlife enclosure is a good starting point.
A plan is thereby drawn up and the team put together. They set off after the duty master's report at around 1 AM on a night with plenty of moonlight. The team comprised of 3 or 4 look-outs around the park and a core group of 'skilled operatives' to carry out the actual operation. This team was needless to say - led by Manoj (code name 'Scaler') who has a great future in covert ops for the RAW rather than bugging and debugging code for the Japs. Yours truly (code name 'Tallguy') and Uma ('Meaouw') being the other operatives.
So Scaler does what he does best - he scales the fence in under 10 secs and jumps inside the enclosure - frightening all the rabbits, guinea pigs, ducks, swans and the rest of the menagerie, raising a ruckus enough to wake up Moghul house. However, Saikorians being Saikorians dont give a damn once the lights-out siren goes off; and all is well. Now with some amazing footwork only a trained footballer of his caliber can drum-up, scaler manages to catch a rabbit and neutralize it by holding it up by its ears. Time elapsed : 32 secs.
The plan calls for tossing this rabbit to Tallguy who's hand reaches over the fence. This is to ensure that the rabbit is not set loose outside the enclosure in case the catch is missed. Scaler moves back to the fence and does exactly that. Tall guy catches the rabbit and brings it out. Time elapsed : 1.05 mins.
Meaouw now brings up the supply-and-demand matrix and figures out that a single scrawny creature will not be enough to satisfy all the Red Gorrillas waiting back at base. He urges Scaler to go for a second snatch mission. Cursing all things holy and unholy - Scaler obliges. Time elapsed : 2.07 mins (ya - it was quite an argument)
Tallguy in the meantime is left holding a rabbit by its ears. Being the soft-hearted guy he is - he starts thinking about the rabbit. Here in his hand are the only parts of the rabbit that might not be eaten! He feels bad that all of the rabbit is suspended by those fragile ears. He is concerned that the rabbit might be hurting. Tallguy lets go of the rabbit's ears and holds it by its torso and thats when all hell breaks loose. The rabbit scratches Tallguy and makes a run for it #^&@@### Time elapsed : 2.15 mins.
This is something that cannot happen. The theft which would not have been detected due to the large no. of rabbits in the penn, would now be apparent if a rabbit was found running around the park. Scaler being quite notorious in spearheading these kind of operations would be suspected. And once Scaler is interrogated, all other team members would be detected, caught and brutually punished!!! Armageddon.
Tallguy and Meaouw now run behind the rabbit trying to catch it. Meaouw calls out to the look-outs to join in the chase and help re-capture the animal. The park is a hotbed of activity with 5 guys running around and making wild dives and swipes at an animal which has the speed to outrun them, the agility to dodge them and the sharp reflexes to evade them. Time elapsed : 3.00 mins
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Time elapsed : 5.00 mins - no luck
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Time elapsed : 8.00 mins - we are in deep shit
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Time elapsed : 10.00 mins - rabbit 'almost' captured twice
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Time elapsed : 12.20 mins - Scaler moves back from his primary location to help us
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Time elapsed : 15.00 mins - Tallguy has been dunked once and warned 5 times that he will regret this by the irate crew
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Time elapsed : 17.15 mins - finally someone figures out that we are equipped with flashlights and tells the other guys that a rabbit is blinded by sudden light. (Apparently Mr.Appalaswamy mentioned this in class long long ago!!)
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Time elapsed : 19.30 mins. - The rabbit is finally re-captured and everyone breathes a sigh of relief.
Some of the crew is in favor of aborting the op and getting out - rabbit or no rabbit. The others want payoff for all the trouble. A vote is taken and Scaler is sent back in. Tallguy is reminded in the nicest language that its a bloody rabbit, and bloody rabbits are supposed to be held by the ears. Scaler now grabs a second rabbit and tosses it to Tallguy who retrieves it rather dejectedly :( Time elapsed : 22.00 mins
Mission is completed. The rabbit stew is cooked next day and rice 'requisitioned' from the mess. All Gajapathians enjoy the Rabbit meat except for Tallguy who is a veggie and has to contend with pickle and rice!!! WTF %^*@@&&))
Moral of the story : Do stuff exactly the way it is supposed to be done - whether you like it or not!! That's all I can think of. If anyone else learnt something else - lemme know :)
